I am completely addicted to all my social media handles! I have FOUR Instagram accounts, one for my personal life @yunggracie, one for all the food I cook and all things food @saygraceandeat, one for my son Cooper @coopdoggydog, and one for this forum Connected Mommas @connectedmommas. I also Have my personal Facebook page and a Connected Mommas Facebook page. It’s a lot of work and takes up a lot of my time an mental energy. I am officially exaughsted.
It’s been a few weeks since I deactivated my Facebook account and deleted the Instagram App on my phone to help with my lack of will power as I usually just find myself mindlessly scrolling. To help my addiction I’ve transitioned into Pinterest, however, I find myself using that way less and also having the barrier of not really connecting with anyone. More of building my own mood boards for various interests I have.
I’ve done many Social Media Detoxes as a way to cut my habit of oversharing to over 800 Facebook followers and over 400 Instagram followers on my multiple platforms that I handle, feeling pressure to be show ready and how posting starts to become my part time job with no benefits.
I knew it was time for me to take another break because I was starting to let the outside news, people, random posts all effect my inner core. That is a huge red flag. I also felt that it was taking time away from me being present with my son. Another red flag. And I saw that my husband was getting grumpy with me being on my phone more than making time with being present with him. Another red flag.
As much as i know the negative impact that Social Media has on my overall mental health, I also know how lifesaving of a tool it was when I was home with my son as a newborn baby. I was able to connect with so many people in such a short amount of time and in the comforts of my own home. It’s funny since doing these Detoxes so many times I have realized that I have my real life friends that have my actual number and call and text me. And my online friends who have all become distant acquaintances but feel closer from the constant likes, comments and online presence and support we create for each other.
I’m the type of person who needs social engagement as a way to feel uplifted and energized. I also need alone time to recharge from my social time. That being said, I am always up for Social Media because it’s a great way to have my cake and eat it too. Meaning that I can still connect with people socially while on my couch! Or if I’m feeling anti-social for the week but still want to know what I’m missing out on! I have fear of missing out. Which always seems to be photos of people living it up in Miami, Las Vegas, New York, Asia and always being on their grind. Obviously I follow the usual people who make me feel like I’m constantly not dressed in enough local and neutral colours, like my son isn’t dressed in enough seasonal and ethically sourced onesies, that I’m not eating enough food that makes my insides glow, that I lack in making my son an eight course bento box meal, that I’m not getting enough hustling done, that I’m not happy enough to be a mother, that I’m not happy enough in my marriage, that I’m not going out enough solo with just my man, that I’m not fit enough, That I’m not successful enough, that basically I’m just not enough.
Since taking Social Media off my phone I have felt a huge sense of peace and calm. I’ve felt as though I’m taking a mental vacation from all the “should’s” and “what will people think of my post?” and “who on my friend list is actually pro trump, racist and or a corrupt white feminist?” I basically needed to slow it all down and also see who I naturally gravitate to in real life. Turns out I only choose to speak to a handful of close girlfriends on the regular. I’ve also taken more conscious time to check in on friends and family, rather than scrolling, posting or comparing. It’s surprisingly been my best break. I did have major withdrawal for the first week. But I’ve since traded it in with reading articles online, reading Harry Potter with my hubby, Pinterest, more walks with my son and contributing more to my self care and domestic side of my life.
Until I choose to add Social Media back on my phone, I will continue to find inspo in real life and tactile ways with reminding myself that its all real -even if I didn’t get to edit it, filter it and post it for all eyes to see.